Don't call it a comeback

I am not sure why I have decided to write this here, now, today, at this time in space and all of it but here we are. I have moved onto documenting what goes on in my life using the format of today which is social media( instagram and youtube @Femi Smiles) I started this with dream that I have accomplished and now I have more dreams which come with fears and nightmares. I always want to spell it with a "K".

The beautiful baby boy has transformed into a handsome young boy who looks like his mother but is wrapped in me. My daughter  looks so much like me that I wonder if people think that I cloned myself. I am at work now so the thought of going home and then picking them up from school has filled me with joy. Yes I am working  but just taking a break. The earthquake , the big one was on this day 10 years ago.

I pray for anybody affected . The world can be so cruel. - 2020 happened it is 2021 and I am not sure what is happening with this world.

On that note. I will click ...

Beard goals

I wrote my last post two months ago. I felt like it was just last week until I realised that it was two months ago. Time flies no matter what you are doing. I scratch my beard trying to think about what is new and I realise that that is is the answer to my question. I have grown a beard. I like having a beard. I actually would like to grow it out a little and then shave it and restore myself back to being not quite so fresh-faced but just with a little bit of a shadow. I don't shave with a razor because I have super sensitive skin. hahaha. I grew a beard when I was working as an IT consultant and one of the project leaders made assumptions about my religion, he was wrong.  I am actually going to grow it out until I reach a goal of mine and then I will shave it off. Or maybe I won't. I may just keep it growing until I reach the next goal and then see from there.  Maybe it will grow on me :| . If my posts are going to be whimsical, then I shouldn't wait for two months for the next one.

Ted is a dick!

So, there are two things that are ruining my life. Ruining is an overstatement and a cop out. The thing that is getting me off track is ME.

The world of social media is one and the other one is sweet things.

Social media is a great tool but I am stuck to it sometimes. I know that I have a problem. I let go, I come back but what I really need to do is strike a nice clean balance. However, like a three-year-old, my balance is way off. I need to think of some rules to ween myself off. Once I have established them I will tell you. There is one I have stuck to, however. It is not to check my phone until after I have left for work and am on the train.  You get a lot accomplished. If I do look at my phone I end up slumped over like some weirdo gazing at things I do not really care about.

What I will do for the above is limit my social media time.

The second one is sweet things. I mean snacks, not girls. Get your mind out of the gutter!

 That is the one that is killing me. It is terrible. It is like a drug. They need to treat people for sugar addiction? Do they? Sometimes, I  walk into a shop to buy something sweet and literally have to talk myself out of it. Yes, moderation is good. I am not moderate. If someone followed me around and calculated how much I spent on snacks last year and told me today. I would probably slap myself and ask all my friends to slap me 3 too. I will also need a strategy. If you have any ideas let me know.

Ted is a dick!
A dick is Ted
A dick Ted
(there you go)

i don't know when i wrote this

He sits in his living room with his wife and his cat. They have just finished watching a drama about a zombie apocalypse. Their beautiful son is in the other room sleeping on their futon. He is happy, she is happy. The cat is being a cat. Always in a state of let me sit on your lap and you may stroke me ,but only ten times on the 11th stroke I will bite your hand. Why? Because I am a cat.

He reads his last blog post which was in 2015. He thinks about what has changed since then. A lot has changed. A lot. 

3 + 3

I am writing this post on the eve of my 33rd birthday hence the 3 +3 which is more like a 3 and 3. Too many threes in one sentence, so I started another one. Almost 3 years have passed since I wrote my last post. If I had any regular readers then I am sure they would have long disappeared.

I am free.

I have three jobs I teach English, translate from Japanese to English and teach a dance that I am still learning. I deleted a lol from the end of that sentence as I don't want to use lols in my blog but I have used two lols in this sentence alone, now three.

I live in Kyoto, Japan and have done so for three years with my wife who I married three years ago and we have a three-year-old cat and a son who will be three next year. It is funny how you can make links to something if you try to. For example, I have two brothers, but that means there are three of us.

I have enjoyed this, it feels good. I actually love to write. I hope people still love to read.

You don't even know you

How much is actually real? 

How real are you with yourself?

 As in how true are you to yourself?

How much do you know about yourself?

One of the things I remember from my previous life is a training session we had in which our personalities were tested based on answers to some awful questions. There was a section before the questions which talked about the Johari Window.

The Johari Window suggests our personalities are split into 4 rooms. Room 1 (Arena) is the part of ourselves that we see and others see . Room 2 (Blind spot) is the aspects that others see but we are not aware of. Room 3 (Facade) is our private space, which we know but keep from others.Room 4 (Unknown) is the most mysterious room in that the unconscious or subconscious part of us is seen by neither ourselves nor others. WHAT?

I want to know what is in Room 2(easy enough to find out).  Room 4 is probably really scary, surprising and weird and Room 3, well that is NOYB.

I always think about this though especially when I hide info from some people. It got me thinking that maybe we would be happier if  Room 3 was smaller and we knocked down the wall between Room 1 and 2. I have no idea about Room 4 but I'm sure it governs what is in all the other rooms.

 I did say that we may be happier if we reduced the contents of Room 3  but  I believe I actually mean free.That freedom may only be temporary as those private thoughts could get you locked up.

Are you lost?

OK. I will get to the point.

There is a part of you that you don't know about that others do and apart of you that nobody knows about. 
YOU ONLY KNOW HALF OF YOUR SELF

You only know half about other people

Stay with me.

Half of this half basically a quarter (thank you maths)is unknown to anyone.

Where is it?

fin

Can't commit

I planned to write something every single day. That didn't last a week. Every week and that didn't last a month. I can't be angry at myself because for the most part I am for lack of a better expression a lazy so and so. I don't even punctuate properly. I think it is disgusting behaviour. So what is the point of this post? I guess it is another attempt at getting back to writing in this blog. I enjoy writing, I like it a lot but I don't make enough time to do the things I love. I enjoy making stories up and telling them to my kids (my students). I'm not great at it but I'm getting better and who knows I might write a famous novel or a children's book or a poem. Too many ors? But let's start with putting more effort in the blog.

slowly but surely

YAYE high fives all around I made it to Kyoto in April this year. It took 6 years since my first job application which I never got, 2 years in Ibaraki-ken the least charming prefecture in the whole of Japan and many many many great nights good experiences made many good friends who were hard to leave. Everytime I tried to say goodbye something would work its way into my eye and make it seem like I was crying (which is ridiculous). I passed my JLPT level 2 and am aiming for level 1. I have started teaching Kizomba here dancing more salsa and bachata which is great. I have danced more in the last 2 months than I did in the entire 2 years I was in Ibaraki.  My new school is great, co worker is great bosses are cool. What else?  Oh I just peered over at our cat "shinobi" I say we as  I am in a we situation. So there is a kitten he is very cute when he wants to be and then a nuisance to my feet at like 5 in the morning.
Slowly but surely things are moving in the right direction.

Ariyo

Wake up!

After all the hesitation, the doubt, the fear. All the times I felt I shouldn't be here. All the times that I should turn back and seek more familiar shores, where my presence would not be the white elephant (or the black bear). I am one step away from my dream. One more step and then I can wake up and no longer have to dream.

Shakespeare never had an English GCSE

What is extremely funny to me, well not extremely funny but slightly peculiar is/was my GCSE grade for English literature. I was the boy who read a book a day, there were some times when I would read instead of playing football or read instead of playing kiss chase. My primary school teacher ENCOURAGED me to read Terry Pratchett when I was in year 6 but I preferred a good old Goosebumps. I borrowed tons of books from the library and my library had a lot of cool comics so I got stuck right in, reading was my hobby.

Something happened during secondary school though I am not sure what or why but English Literature provided me with my lowest GCSE grade.  I guess with a subjective subject it is a bit hit and miss. Maybe I didn't understand Shakespeare the way everyone else did Macbeth taught me to stay away from girls in fields and trust my mates, Hamlet was less of a tragedy and more a comedy to me and it is possible that I looked at Of Mice and Men from a different angle than most. Could this be what earned me my dirty little C-cret that I hide behind my  6 A's and 3 B's ? I know a C is an average and even an F gets you a low pass but it's always bothered me. I like to write and am sometimes dissuaded from doing so by this grade. Not anymore though, this post is a middle finger up to that grade and if I ever do write anything of significance ,besides my white paper on Cloud computing a few years ago (NOTE  it was not signifcant) , in my little bio I will put once got a C in English Literature.

Also reminds me of when I wanted to go study Maths at A-level and for some reason I really tanked my mock exams and got a D. I was told that I shouldn't bother applying to study it further and be more realistic with my subject choices.  I was like "OK" studied my ass off got my A, and Maths went on to be my most successful subject at A -Level.

Back for the first time.

So,  a year had passed since leaving London's green and grey shores for the land of sushi, extreme politeness and warm space toilets.I missed my family and friend from the very second I said my teary goodbyes.
I didn't regret my decision to leave the U.K but it was far from easy.

Anyway here I am back for the first arriving at Heathrow after staying awake on a 12 hour flight. My mum greets me and I feel like I just saw her yesterday thanks to Skype. My brother (12 ) got a lot taller and I fear he will be taller than me when puberty really kicks in and my other brother looked ,how do you say, well. HAHAHA.
I got to see my Dad and his new Heisenberg beard and sample his (pepper soup) which I can not handle at all.

Anyway this not a recap but I just wanted to note that in the 10 days I was in London I couldn't see all my friends and family properly and eat enough of my mums food or wrestle or play enough with my brothers or play tennis or call of duty or go to the cinema or dance enough or  anything. There wasn't enough time.

I don't know how it ties in but a lot of the things that were available to me everyday are no longer accessible from my little Japanese town.

Saying that I gave up and lost a lot by moving out here so I'm more determined to make the most of it now.

YDKWYGTIG

Last train winner

Sometimes on the last train, Japanese people are not afraid to strike up convo. it happened to me twice yesterday. Anyway while I was with my friends. This guy started to exercise his English but we kind of ignored him as he was a lil tipsy and we didn't have time for him.
I felt sorry after dissing his high 5 . SO I asked him a question just to help him out. What follows is detailed below.

Me : How tall are you?

Tall Japanese guy : 187 cm (Yes we do cm here)

Me : Wow, really tall .(taller than me)

Tall Japanese guy : Yeah,how tall are you ?

Me: 183cm

Tall Japanese guy : Oh. I'm TALLER than you. I'm the winner. I'm the winner.

He continues in this mocking tone which irritates me a little.Plus his friends were giggling and he was trying to show me up.

Me: How many centimetres are you ?(Pointing to an area of my anatomy)

Tall Japanese guy: (Looking confused) says nothing

Me: WINNER !!! WINNNER !WINNER.

Japan has Valentine's day backwards

So yeah! In comparison to the west Japan does have it backwards but it's a good thing. Instead of the guys spending money buying gifts for the special person in their life and taking them out for over priced meals, Japan has it that the ladies get the guys chocolate and apparently the ladies do all the work, dates and stuff.

I did get some chocolate for all my female teachers at school but that was just to add more height to the towering gentle man image I have constructed of myself.

It is 18:12 pm and I am freezing at home typing this up so I am obviously not going on any dates BUT I did get some chocolate at school which is a result.


There is another day (White day)when the guys get candy/sweets whatever for the girls in return so I guess I'll have to purchase some stuff in return  but I don't know nothing about that yet.

Legally beat them

When I told her what I was going to do I thought she would have an objection, but she told me she was interested to hear that I was going to take part in a Judo PE lesson with her form class and even came and took pictures.

I had wanted to join in training with the Judo club but for some reason or another I hadn't made it. Kawara the Judo Sensei told me I should join the first years for a lesson and that he would bring in his own Judo gi for me. He stressed the length of the arms and legs may be short and this was no exaggeration. It was also a bright blue one which contrasted heavily with all the various shades of white gis the students had. You could tell which students had hand me down gis as theirs were bordering on a creamy yellow colour.  

I walked to the Dojo with a nike pro t-shirt so all my students were in double shock first reaction "Ariyo da!!!" - It's Ariyo. followed by "wow, sugoi(great), tsuyoi (strong), macho baby" etc. They were all excited that I joined in. I was surprised to see two other teachers with their black belts. I never even knew they did Judo.

Kawara sensei passed me the blue gi and Akurai sensei helped me get the obi (belt) on. Orai sensei lead the class through the introductions and I joined in ,as Orai sensei put it, as a foreign exchange student. We warmed up and practiced Ukemi which are breakfalls which I picked up after a while. We practiced a few pin techniques, only Kawara sensei and one of the giant first years( a member of the Judo team) managed to escape my hold.

Finally we had a challenge type sparring round. I was surprised at how many students were willing to fight me. I'm a big guy in Japan and according to my JHS first years I'm a titan. I kicked all of the kids asses, some were easier than others but they all went down. I had a try with one of the teachers and that was a stalemate. I really enjoyed it, might be something to learn ( get my first black belt not from H&M ).At the end of the class all the students bowed and thanked me for coming.

On leaving the gym the class from which I have students that cause me a problem came in. How I wish I had them during judo would loved to have thrown some of those guys around.

Nothing stays the same

no relation to any of the content but I drew it.

Hmm. I feel like there is so much I could talk about. I regret that I haven't updated this. School life has been fun so far. I had my last day teaching at my elementary school last week and that was an indication that I have been here a while.

I have been in a speech contest, had my bike stolen and recovered. Ups and downs turn arounds been in Typhoons countless amounts of earthquakes cat cafes all nighters conflicts of interests, interesting conflicts.Hot like fire and cold like ice. I even had a box beard. I'm In the middle of a 12 week fitness challenge and realise that hitting the blog will help me remember this stage of my life  and allow me to reflect more. So many interesting stories get forgotten or put to short term memory and then deleted.

I think I'll try and go back in my memory banks and fill you in on some things.

Like my bike.

Schools out for summer

Near my school - 5 storeys

So, my first term as an ALT is over I've still popped into school to do some odd bits of work with the kids. They say when you love something you'd do it for free and that I am. I'll still go to school tomorrow at 9 am to do some stuff with the kids.

I have a lot of time to myself and I need to use it to work on a plan and things I'd like to achieve make short term goals to meet long term ones. I know I always said the goal is to be in Japan but now that has accomplished I NEED to work on the next step.

I've managed to get in some dancing been to Tokyo a couple of times and will possibly be getting in some club time Kizomba on Tuesday.(good news) It has been hot insects have been flying. I have received a bike which I have to pay for at the end of the month. The guy just said take the bike and pay when you have the money cool stuff. Working on a little Vblog venture so you can see what is going on so stay tuned for that. I think I'll try and link it all together and add Instagram as well. Triple threat son WHAT!!

little and often

Meet the little ones

This was my year 1and 2 intro lesson,
the numbers are them guessing my age

So yeah it has been a while- sorry.

Anyway enough of the apologies (imagine me bowing really low, like I'm going into flat back (insanity joke) )  Hmm can you put brackets in brackets when it's not math?  Well , I can


Anyway for the second time a couple of weeks ago on the 6th I had to teach the 1st and 2nd graders at my elementary school. Most times I teach the 5th grades and they are energetic enough BUT the 1st graders and 2nd graders are like little Ninja duracell bunnies and they don't understand more than a couple words of English but they are the most enthusiastic classes I have taught.

The way they got excited when I turned up you would have though I was a power ranger or something they went crazy and I went crazy and it was just a crazy day. Like working with kids puts a lot of people off having kids but this was the opposite. I gave out high fives and the kids literally mobbed me at one point. They see me as a  high five giving BFG climbing frame from a mysterious land. I remember having kids n my legs climbing them like trees and a couple kids swinging from my bicep and this was before I even stepped into the class.

And  playtime I'll go into that in another post but  I really enjoyed that day and yeah I got paid for it. :D Good times  Shame is I don''t have the 1st and 2nd years in my regular schedule so who knows when the next time will be.

What is funny is that the little kids who you think would be scared and apprehensive when meeting a giant foreigner are the most welcoming and friendly and then it's the adults who are the fraidy cats. I think it's great to get foreign people into Japan so these kids will understand and grow up knowing foreigners and not having some of the fears that their elders have.  I'm just glad that for the students I have had the pleasure of teaching, I'm glad that I can dispel many of the negative stereotypes they may have otherwise received about my demographic and to realise that personality has no real relation with race or background.

that internet racism

So I was looking up success stories about other Gaijin in Japan well more specifically about how black people have found it. I stumbled across a forum on a website that I frequent and one  guy was saying black people shouldn't come to Japan  that we're not wanted here and how we can never get a decent job  or a woman if you're black or bla bla bla and that we should stick to our own kind etc and I was fuming especially because this was written by a black dude.

I just got given a lift home from the vice principal of my school who is such a welcoming figure. Also received lifts home several times  I have received meals , a (big) sack of rice, free trouser repair endless amounts of Japanese snacks , free Japanese lessons so far drinks (real drinks) and been offered 2 bicycles and more so far all from the Japanese people who I've met in the last month. If they don't want me hear then they have a funny way of showing it.

Nobody gave me a bike in London. The kids all say Hello on the street and are just sweet as can be.

It's a shame that some punk probably put someone off coming to this wonderful country.

Everybody has generally been welcoming yeah people are like Oh there's a big black guy not seen one of those before let me stare at him, but nobody has thrown eggs at me- like they did in London back in the day.

Just be aware that a lot of people only know what MTV and the media has told them about black people but once they realise there is much more to you than meets the stereotype then you're all cool and if they don't wanna be open then don't bother yourself. Really ain't nobody got time for that

The group I hang out with is varied from Italian American, American Chinese ,Japanese American, Black british straight American, Japanese British, NewZ, Ozzie, and we're all having a great time we are seen different ways from afar but would be that way anywhere.

But there is a lot of racism on the internet and it's really sad man, like jokes are jokes but some of this stuff makes me worry.

28

I'm 28 but what does that mean, it means I've been here for a while and I thank God for that. Fullstop aye

Just flicking through my Iphone pictures shows
me how eventful my birthday and start to the golden week weekend was. I am still trying to claw back sleep that I missed out on thanks to the nightlife of Mito, Osaka and Kyoto respectively. My actual birthday was spent with new friends starting of in an Izakaya Japanese style and ending in a bar which I'm sure is a great live music venue. This was via late night karaoke , intoxicated skateboarding tricks by the Tanda and posing for pics with the BMX crew. The night ended with a really tasty burger which left me as quickly as it entered me, some of the guys getting down with the guitars and drums and me starting my journey to Kyoto.Shinkansen baby

The weekend was ridiculously good. Met with my boy  Kwaps who features in this blog from my last time in Japan. I won't go into details now but 4 all nighters in a row fun times.
It is funny though the reaction we get walking around people gawking oh and if the arms are out then it's a wrap lol. Sugoi-Yabai-Kakkoi lol Pictures, pointing, greetings etc.

Saturday morning killed it with some stair training with Kwaps which almost finished me, my legs are still hurting. There is a picturesque stairways leading to a temple/shrine  surrounded by trees in what seems like the middle of nowhere but this was not a serene scenario just the two of us running full pace up steps and descending when tired , which was much earlier for me, and repeating the process. Killer. the ultimate test was having to stand on the shinkansen on the way back and the next day having my elementary school class but that went well as always.

Ended the weekend knowing that I need to get myself a permanent residence Kansai sides man.

Cash down

So after the 3 way money transfer drama of trying to provide myself with enough money to eat, I'm in a good place and am due to hit up my home away from home in Kansai, Kyoto for the tail end of golden week. Bus is fully booked so I have to go by Shinkansen 'poor me'. Literally poor me as it isn't cheap but since I wont have another chance to go till late summer sacrifices have to be made.

Also confirmed it that Hitachi is not the place to do an all nighter, it's not that kind of town don't get me wrong Hitachi has so many bars but unfortunately 95% of these are Snack bars- google it.
Hitachi does have many nice little spots , karaoke places restaurants of a variety , had a nice Italian last night which fits the budget, and cool bars western and Japanese. This however means that if you go out you should make sure you get the last train or you will have a long wait with little or no stimulation. There will be exceptional nights but unless you have your own party going on, you will not find one in Hitachi. MY OPINION. We will be moving the party to Mito and hit up bubble as Mito has a bit more to offer and that may be worth an all nighter.

On another note , I gots me my Sofa bed and a nice low Japanese style table delivered to me yesterday in the early hours of the A.M yesterday which was straight after the all nighter that led me to my earlier drawn conclusion. So as I have furniture I can not just move so I'm grounded in Hitachi for a bit
.
Last thing I need some hair clippers my transformer is not working and the razors are giving the me those ugly uncle bumps at the back of my head and they take like a week to go. Hitachi is so lacking that I haven't found any yet but I'll get some if not now then when I get my self to Kansai.

say this in a japanese accent please

BURAKU----SANDA -- 

Thanks