Ted is a dick!

So, there are two things that are ruining my life. Ruining is an overstatement and a cop out. The thing that is getting me off track is ME.

The world of social media is one and the other one is sweet things.

Social media is a great tool but I am stuck to it sometimes. I know that I have a problem. I let go, I come back but what I really need to do is strike a nice clean balance. However, like a three-year-old, my balance is way off. I need to think of some rules to ween myself off. Once I have established them I will tell you. There is one I have stuck to, however. It is not to check my phone until after I have left for work and am on the train.  You get a lot accomplished. If I do look at my phone I end up slumped over like some weirdo gazing at things I do not really care about.

What I will do for the above is limit my social media time.

The second one is sweet things. I mean snacks, not girls. Get your mind out of the gutter!

 That is the one that is killing me. It is terrible. It is like a drug. They need to treat people for sugar addiction? Do they? Sometimes, I  walk into a shop to buy something sweet and literally have to talk myself out of it. Yes, moderation is good. I am not moderate. If someone followed me around and calculated how much I spent on snacks last year and told me today. I would probably slap myself and ask all my friends to slap me 3 too. I will also need a strategy. If you have any ideas let me know.

Ted is a dick!
A dick is Ted
A dick Ted
(there you go)

3 + 3

I am writing this post on the eve of my 33rd birthday hence the 3 +3 which is more like a 3 and 3. Too many threes in one sentence, so I started another one. Almost 3 years have passed since I wrote my last post. If I had any regular readers then I am sure they would have long disappeared.

I am free.

I have three jobs I teach English, translate from Japanese to English and teach a dance that I am still learning. I deleted a lol from the end of that sentence as I don't want to use lols in my blog but I have used two lols in this sentence alone, now three.

I live in Kyoto, Japan and have done so for three years with my wife who I married three years ago and we have a three-year-old cat and a son who will be three next year. It is funny how you can make links to something if you try to. For example, I have two brothers, but that means there are three of us.

I have enjoyed this, it feels good. I actually love to write. I hope people still love to read.

Shakespeare never had an English GCSE

What is extremely funny to me, well not extremely funny but slightly peculiar is/was my GCSE grade for English literature. I was the boy who read a book a day, there were some times when I would read instead of playing football or read instead of playing kiss chase. My primary school teacher ENCOURAGED me to read Terry Pratchett when I was in year 6 but I preferred a good old Goosebumps. I borrowed tons of books from the library and my library had a lot of cool comics so I got stuck right in, reading was my hobby.

Something happened during secondary school though I am not sure what or why but English Literature provided me with my lowest GCSE grade.  I guess with a subjective subject it is a bit hit and miss. Maybe I didn't understand Shakespeare the way everyone else did Macbeth taught me to stay away from girls in fields and trust my mates, Hamlet was less of a tragedy and more a comedy to me and it is possible that I looked at Of Mice and Men from a different angle than most. Could this be what earned me my dirty little C-cret that I hide behind my  6 A's and 3 B's ? I know a C is an average and even an F gets you a low pass but it's always bothered me. I like to write and am sometimes dissuaded from doing so by this grade. Not anymore though, this post is a middle finger up to that grade and if I ever do write anything of significance ,besides my white paper on Cloud computing a few years ago (NOTE  it was not signifcant) , in my little bio I will put once got a C in English Literature.

Also reminds me of when I wanted to go study Maths at A-level and for some reason I really tanked my mock exams and got a D. I was told that I shouldn't bother applying to study it further and be more realistic with my subject choices.  I was like "OK" studied my ass off got my A, and Maths went on to be my most successful subject at A -Level.

Day 1 x 2

So, I came to Japan for many reasons but my vehicle here was and is teaching the English and it's something I had thought about since I was 19 when I read the blog Gaijin Smash you can find here http://gaijinchronicles.com/ . I actually just got sidetracked reading it for like half an hour.


Anyway I'm here now and I had my first day at my Junior High School yesterday and my first day at my Elementary School today. I've never taught a real class of school kids, only fake ones with  my peers pretending to be Japanese kids. There is a big difference, sometimes you get that kind of silence that comedians get when their joke doesn't fly or the silence you get when you ask a girl her name and she blanks you ( Neither of these have happened to me by the way).  Doing the same class a few times allowed me to fine tune my class and it went done quite well, it was aimed as an introduction and they got to know my name with thanks to Super Mario as a lot of times I introduce myself as Mario without an M. It helps trust me.

The Elementary school now was like the best fun I've had in a long time, and it helps that I understand a fair bit of Japanese because although I only teach one year in the school, everybody is running up to me and asking questions and they don't even think about talking to me in English, I'll just have a kid asking me if they can jump on my shoulders or, how tall i am?where I am from`? Can I dunk? How strong am I? what's my favourite song? my favourite animal? The only thing everyone can say in English is 'HELLO'

Like I could go into detail but I mean being able to laugh and smile and make people do the same at work is amazing. I mean there are man things I could do better but it is just the start I think I'll learn a little each day and eventually I'll be that guy.

Oh and the teachers act like I'm some wonder child and they love that I brought Earl Grey Tea in a little souvenir box.

Hai Sensei

If you don't know know you know.

If you speak English as your native language you are pretty much qualified to be an English teacher in Japan and many other countries around the world. We English speakers are lucky that we already have a trade.

Anyhow I took one of my friends private lessons today just to see how it is. (I did it on a volunteer basis as I am not able to work here on my visa as a tourist , so i state, that I did not receive payment) It went pretty well for me I can see the appeal of being paid to basically talk and assist language learning. I mean I do it in England all the time with my Japanese exchange partners and friends and to have the opportunity to be paid for it seems to be a no brainer. But at the same time I am not doing it and working a Job in London that I "love so much" (these quotes are air quotes) there is no love.

I turned up in My polo and boat shoes, basically the smartest things I brought with me to a mutually agreed location.

What was funny was that I told the guy I would be wearing a red top and i was about 180 cm tall and I'm sure he was aware that I was black. In kyoto this would be enough to dstinguish me from 99% of the population, BUT when I step into the mutually agreed establishment. There is another black guy about my height wearing exactly the same shade of red top I am wearing.
I don't know what the chances are that the both of us would be there at the same time same place same colour x 2 but I'm sure it's pretty one in a million.

Anyway I got spotted by my student who was early and we got the formallities out of the way and began.

This was in fact the longest conversation i've had in English for a long time, even when I speak with my English speaking friends it is not an hour of straight back and forth. I made sure there was never a dull moment, and when i say dull moment I mean I made sure English was coming out of my mouth or the other guys.

I love talking with people so it was an experience and fun for me, I mean if you wanna pay me for it. I won't say no.