Instant ZOMBIE

This is something I have been observing since I was a young man, in fact  since I was a young boy.

It's a strange phenomenon and if you are Male or female I'm sure you would have experienced it or witnessed it respectfully. Well next time take notice as it happens all the time.

So this isn't about Zombies rising from the dead but it is about the transformation of even the most animated XY into a brainless man walking ( which some may argue is us all the time but I digress).

What this boils down to is that in the scenario where a woman leads a man into a female clothes shop the transformation into zombie commences,  the personality side  of the male like a light switch is turned off. I feel it is an evolution of the male brain. It's like the brain is trying to save energy as it has learned that you will only be needing to use motor functions here. Any opinions should not be ones own as it could result in trouble.

As soon as you enter the shop it is your strength and tracking skills that are put into play. The excess amount of bags accompanying female is carrying are placed on your person and you must now follow your master  not letting her wander further than 2 steps away from you, so she can use you as a walking hanger. The brain does not want you to complain as you will not win so this function has been shut off.

All brain power is transferred to the areas responsible for movement so you have enough energy for zombie walking the aisles and lanes for what may seem like light years due to the zombie state you are in. Elapsed time is probably no more than 15 minutes, but what do zombies know about time?

I noticed this as I too am caught in this trance but something snapped me out of it, I think catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I remembered that I was in fact a real man. I looked around and saw mindless men, from all walks of life , but all seemed soulless following their frolicking "better halves" no more than 2 steps away. I wanted to free them but before I could think another thought I found my brain going back into shutdown.  Back to carrying and shuffling forward, magnetically drawn to the Mrs ,the Master.

The only words you can utter in this state are words of affirmation recycled from your past, " that looks great" " they suit you"  "I like them"  with half a zombie smile

When asked to form an opinion you make a random selection from the comments you have heard your partner  make and just pass them off as your own. Smile and thumbs ups are very difficult to pull off in instant Zombie state but they can be done.

If you wish to see this go to Forever 21 or somewhere like that but do this alone  but take heed you must be quick because if a solo  female catches you- it's lights out for your brain until she has no need for you in that store, and how long that is. NOBODY KNOWS.

scary

Weak Lee

No this not the name of a discarded Street Fighter character based on a martial artist with a matching surname.

I just didn't feel like spelling correctly, because sometimes I don't feel like spelling correctly.
I'm exercising my freedom of Speech (well text)
I take this as being my space where I can just release whatever thoughts on my mind, but I haven't been using it nearly enough. My last post was in January and Mayday Mayday is fast approaching.

Initially I said everyday I'll write on my blog, and now it seems like every quarter so now I think , i'll try a healthy once a week at least. WEEKLY which brings us back to what Bruce would have been if he never learned how to one inch punch. (if you don't get the joke look at the title and read the pening sentence and think harder)

So much has happened and I havent documented it so let me make a boring bullet point list

• signed up for JLPT 2 exam Japanese Language Proficiency Test (yeah I need to study more and more)
• Joined a dance performance group
• Joined a dance project , and may have an appearance in the Big dance
• (Surprise)
• Started another secret side projecy
• Another one, which I will mention when it bears shoots
• Fixed my mac- finally
• erm running out of things to say, - I wear a Tie sometimes at work.

 Boring right.

I prmise next time will make you smile a bit more.

Absolute...Absolutely

It will not be on headline news of course or maybe it is I don't get much time to watch the news.

But my brothers and sisters (figuratively) are striking big time.

In Nigeria where I'm from the government have decided to remove the fuel subsidy.
In short its like raising taxes like to the roof. Bus fares are in some some places more than quadrupuling, businesses are having to shut down, people cant afford to get by!!

This is our Prime minister Goodluck Jonathans plan to stabilise the Nigerian economy,

obviously something has to be done to change Nigerias situation but some things need to be done gradually maybe I mean its literally stopping people from living. We are not wealthy anyway although we should be.

Why does he think he can get quick results like that? why not decrease the subsidy or regulate it or do a million and one other things. In fact why do Nigeria, Africas biggest oil producer have to hire outsiders to refine oil for us, why are you not focussing on getting this in place. Why? Too many backhanders people just worried about their short term gains while the country loses in the long run.

I have to put my hands up and say I do not know all the ins and outs and I'm not living it but, as a leader your number one focus maybe even your only purpose is the people. if you are upsetting your people, you're not doing a great job. Abi?

The £5billion pounds saved will apparently spent on improving health, education and the notorious nigerian electicity supply. To make sure NEPA doesn't take light
but myself and many other Nigerians have heard this tale time without number.I hope certain fat cats will not line there pockets while the rest of Nigeria is forced to suffer and starve.

Don't let them suffer in vain.

as the world turns

Based on the time it takes for the earth to orbit the sun, some of us take it upon ourselves to reflect on our lives and plan for the future in time for the next time we pass the same point on the sun.

There are some changes which are basically tradition, it's usually around this time that i decide to eat more and exercise less, and its only a few months down the line when i end up doing the opposite.
There are also the big game changers that will stick with you, the decisions that will change your live forever whether you know it or not. It's a shame that we as a people tend to wait for new years resolutions BUT saying this it is good that we do take time to evaluate what is going on in our lives.

If i look on facebook so many people are complaining about their first day back, me i usually do the same but i am sick of my own voice complaining.I'm using that energy to work on changing my situation instead.

thanks to a meeting I had with some of my like minded friends i was able to plan positive changes into my life personally , spiritually and career wise. Key thing here is to not wait till 2013 before you evaluate these again, schedule some time in a month or two and review your goals, how are you doing? Is this challenging me, am I on the right path? Yes?, NO? okay what next?

I'm a very good talker and action is hard for me I struggle at it, I know where I want to be, and kind of what I want to do, but I'm not there and I'm not doing it.
I'm praying and hoping that checking in on myself every now and then and being around people that will push me will help me climb to new heights.

I'm gonna eat some goals for breakfast even though it's 16:15 but you understand

lately

I usually write about something that has occured, usually there is a trigger and I think let me write about that. Today there isn't or wasn't a trigger but I thought I would just figuratively pen my thoughts.

So I did read back the first few days of my blog while I was in japan and memories flooded back, i even remembered what i didn't write in the blog and there was a lot.It made me want to go back but I'm in no situation to. I always look for jobs in japan just to see if "the one" of jobs appears but it doesn't there was a job that i applied for and I basically got it or got some work from it but ill explain that when it comes to fruition. I got my prime lens for my CAMERA which is good for taking portraits. I've got a couple projects on the way but I think key thing is to take the camera out with me everyday. my last day in the office so I'm VERY HAPPY about that first proper free time I've had since I was in ASIA.

Best things happened lately is my mrs making things happen and she is bein proper blessed i like people around me shining.
Other of my friends are making it happen www.thestartupcrowd.com and my boy has a commercial up on www.reed.co.uk/youdecide called the condition
there are loads more but everyone on their own projects thumbs up. I'm going to have to follow to.
www.djbcreative.com and www.femismiles.com the framework has started so let me build on it. Reminds me need to purchase a CD for my mac to get it up and running. If i have nought to say its all just my thoughts but I wont be publishin this one facebook - :P

Discovering Dogs

Firstly I would like to say this post is sponsored by Phil Humber. Providing slightly geeky witty banter since 2008.

Have I ever told you I was a Dog Person? Do you know that I like Dogs?

Well in the words of Biggie, If you don’t know ,now you are adequately informed.

When I say dogs I mean REAL dogs, dogs that can do things or at least , look like they can do things. I am not talking about Chihuahuas and other toy dogs , In my eyes they are not REAL dogs they are accessories and or toys. if you can carry it in your hand bag along with your chap stick then it doesn’t get my real dog certification.

Because I know my girlfriend is probably fuming about the last section of the post. I would like to add that some of these little dogs are cute but not for me. I don’t want to sound childish but some of those dogs are for girls!! :P.

As a man I don’t care how macho you are, walking down the street with a rat-dog on a lead will make you look a Queen (not the royal kind). If that’s the look you’re going for then go ahead, but if not leave the toy dogs for the fairer sex.

My opinion …my opinion

Anyhow on Saturday the 12th November, ( otouto no tanjoubi)
My brother ,his friend,my other brother , my girlfriend and I (I’m sure there is a more grammatically correct way to say this) went to Discover dogs, which does what it says on the tin. It’s for dog lovers and owners alike. They claimed to have over 200 different breeds of dog just hanging around and although I didn’t count them I will take their word for it. It was like a dog petting zoo , in fact it was a dog petting zoo with a few stands where you could buy dog related products. It was really good fun kids were free, as in you can bring under 12’s for no entry fee not as in they were giving away children for no charge.

I always thought I wanted a Husky because I like wolves and huskies are beautiful and wolf like but in reality the Alaskan Malamute is for me, it is larger than the husky and with a more relaxed temperament but the deal breaker for Huskies is that they do not call to heal.

As in if you let a husky of its leash, it will run and when you call it it will ignore you like the US government did with Katrina.

I have dreams of me calling out my dogs name , which will either be 大好(Daisuki) or 京都 (Kyoto) and it running towards me.Making me seem well cool
I learned all this at Discover dogs, SO my girlfriends likes a dog called the Brussels Griffon which looks like an Ewok from star wars, my 23 year old brother is a sucker for Dalmatians which makes sense as he brainwashed himself watching 101 dalmatians as a child literally everyday. My youngest brother is a fan of the Malamute as he likes what I like and his friend likes Kings Charles cavaliers.

if you like dogs I would definitely going to Discover dogs next year.
Anyway up until now I wouldn’t have minded a flat but when I get my own place, my malamute will need a garden.

I speak PIDGIN

This as with one of my previous posts starts in the mens room of a central London establishment, the man in the toilet resurfaces, this time he justs asks me where I’m from as in origin. I reply to him in my private school educated working class English accent that I’m Nigerian.
To which his eyes light up WHERE? WHERE? WHERE?
I tell him Kogi and Ibadan but I was born here.
The guy is like so You don’t speak Yoruba at ALL Looking at me like I was nothing.
I wanted to shout at him like (SHARRRAP WHA ARE YOU DOING CLEAING TOILET), in a serious African accent reminiscent of the jokes I shared with Kwaps in Japan.
But instead
I was like of course I speak Yoruba , in reallity I can blag Yoruba for about 2 seconds but I understand it though as with most british born Naija boys and ggirls. He tried to test me with the most basic of phrases to which I reply in my full Nigerian accent. I earn the toilet mans approval but now I can expect full blown Yoruba jisting so when I see him in the toilet today- yeah its weekly- I will no doubt all but lose his approval.
Anyway as you should know Je parle ein biss chen Nihongo. I speak some Japanese and a little bit of a couple of other languages.
I’m just indicating that I am learning Yoruba and Pidgin Englishwhich I basically know but I have to practice. I’m so into other cultures so I want to learn and discover mine. I have native speakers to practice on Ooodles of over acted films thanks to Nollywood and failing that, if I get on a bus there WILL be a Yoruba woman talking loudly on her phone somewhere that I can listen to for practice.